Woman Demands She Spends $5000 So She Can Avoid “Shaving” Head. Blames The Wife For The Condition, Netizens Ask Her To Accept Reality.

$5,000 can feel like a significant sum, particularly when it’s a cost you hadn’t budgeted for. Yet, what if that’s the necessary expense to preserve your cherished locks?

A netizen recently asked, Will I be a jerk to pay $5k not to shave my head? We want to hear your thoughts. 

Backstory: 

OP (F36) got a severe case of Guillain Barre, a condition where a minor infection causes the immune system to attack the sheath around the nerves. Her case was severe, and she lost all strength and control of her arms and legs.

What Does OP Say

OP says, “My face, arms, torso below the waist, and legs all feel like I put them to sleep, and there is almost no feeling in those areas. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. I required an ambulance to get me out of bed and appointments for 3 months.”

What’s With OP’s Hair?

OP has very long hair (down to her glutes). It had always been essential to her. It makes her feel like her (which is super important when she has lost everything else.

She Lost All Ability

She has lost all ability to do things she is passionate about. Laying in a hospital bed is havoc on the hair. OP asked her wife (43F) to brush it several times but it never happened (she’d done what she needed otherwise). 

What Does OP Say?

OP says, “It did hurt a bit as she knew how I feel about my hair. I asked the care staff at the hospital, but they were too busy. By the time I got home, my hair was in a tangled braid. Pre-illness, I could have gotten it free in a few hours, but I couldn’t control my hands at all. My wife made a half effort to untangle it at this point but lacked the patience.

She called a few stylists to see if someone could come to our house to work on it, but no dice.” 

What Happened 3 Months Down The Line?

Over the next 3 months lying in bed, OP’s hair transformed into a complex, matted baseball on top of her head. When OP could get out a bit, they tried a few local salons, but they had no idea how to fix it.

All suggested shaving it off. And that hurts her heart a lot. It would take 6 years to grow them back.

The Issue Right Now

This brings OP to the issue: There is a salon 9 hours away that specializes in this issue. OP has an appointment next week after an 8-week wait. The problem? They believe it will take 20 hours over 4 days to fix it. The appointments will cost $4000 and it’s another $600 at least for gas, hotel, food, and expenses.  

What Does OP Say

OP says, “We are not rich in good times, but my wife has had to quit working to be home to care for me. My medical supplies have increased spending (it takes forever to get Medicaid to cover supplies). That is a disgusting amount of money we could really use elsewhere.”

What Does OP Think?

If OP felt like this was her fault she wouldn’t even consider spending that money. She feels like her wife could have prevented this all by just brushing her hair. Or having a measure of patience to detangle it when she got home. 

What Else Does OP Say

OP says, “Also, she clearly hates working on my hair, and I will need someone to brush it (possibly forever). She’s the only option. I know being a caregiver is hard enough. I don’t want to be more of a burden. There is also the chance none of this works and I have to pay a lot of money and still lose it.

I could live with a shaved head, no matter how hard it would be. Tomorrow morning is my last chance to cancel and get most of my deposits back. Would I be a jerk for spending all this money on my hair?” 

Here’s The Thing

“Here’s the thing: Even IF you spend $5K and your hair turns out perfect, what happens NEXT month, the month after that? 

You can’t take care of your own hair. Your wife doesn’t like taking care of your hair.You will be the jerk to spend that amount of money fixing your hair that you cannot afford for yourself.”

The Reality Might Seem Harsh

“You can’t afford this. I know you love your hair, but with no income coming in, $5k is an awful lot to spend on something that isn’t an absolute necessity.

Also, what happens after? It doesn’t seem like your wife is all of a sudden going to start taking care of your hair. What’s to say that it doesn’t get matted up all over again?

Is there any way that you could have the hair cut and made into a wig?”

Cut Them Short, Maybe?

“Yes, I’m sorry, I don’t want to call you a jerk, but you do realize it’s an insane amount of money that you need for your other expenses. I’m really sorry for everything you have to go through, sadly the right choice would be to cut your hair. Does it all have to go? Can’t you cut it short and untangle what’s left?” 

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.