In any relationship, including a hookup, boundaries are essential to establish and respect. Boundaries serve as guidelines for what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. They help to ensure that both partners feel safe, respected, and comfortable.
A Redditor asked Am I The A..hole, AITA, for not giving back an expensive gift I was given? We want to know what you think of this; here is the entire story:
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) met Bob about three months ago. Bob and OP met on a dating app and hooked up.
OP made it clear from the start that she was looking for hookups and nothing serious. They had a good time, and OP said she would like to keep hanging out as friends or with benefits. Bob agreed with OP.
For the next few weeks, OP was showered with gifts by him constantly, and he also admitted that he was into OP. None of this was the stuff OP had asked for; OP made it clear that she still wasn’t into him and would not reciprocate.
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Part of the gifts was a pair of expensive earrings. Those earrings are now one of OP’s favorite pairs. Bob started acting a bit obsessed and demanded a text from OP every day and return for the affection he was giving her.
Something she had made clear that she didn’t want. It was at that point OP decided to break ties with him. OP said that he wanted more from her than she wanted to give him and that she wasn’t going to change her mind.
What Happened Next?
Later, they ran into each other at a play OP was attending, and that was when he asked for the earrings back. He told OP that he had spent a lot of money on them and wanted them back. He wanted to give them to someone who would return the favor.
OP refused to return them and said that she liked them. OP further added that he gave them to her and should not ask them back just because he didn’t get what he wanted out of their relationship.
He became furious and claimed that he had done so much for her. He added that OP had never even given him the time of day. He accused OP of using him for his gifts and called her a horrible person for doing so.
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What Did People Think?
A lot of people should have commented because of the lack of information. That is why OP went and edited the post to include this –
As a clarification, the first wave of gifts was given on OP’s birthday and was not refused. The gifts included earrings and some other jewelry. Subsequently, the gifts mostly comprised expensive nights out, show tickets, and the game “Hades,” which OP had wanted for a while.
Despite trying to refuse several gifts by stating it was too much and OP would be unable to return the favor, Bob insisted that OP keeps it. OP eventually accepted most of it, excluding the concert tickets, which could not be attended to due to being too busy.
At first, OP was confident that she was right, but after his blow-up, she started questioning a bit more. OP asks, “AITA?”
Do you agree with him? Was it inappropriate for OP to not return the earrings? Was he right in asking for it just because the relationship did not go the way he wanted it to? What would you do in this situation?
The article originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio.