Being frugal is great, but what if you start to cross the line and being cheapstake especially with the food? Where do you draw the line?
A Redditor asked on forum, Am I wrong for cheaping out on food for my kids? and we want to know what you think.
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) had two children and they are still living with OP at home.
Neither one decided to go to college and both had crappy minimum-wage jobs. They had an inheritance from their grandparents that they would get when they turn 25.
The amount they were going to receive was enough to cover their living expenses if they lived frugally for their entire lives.
The older sister had just moved out after graduating from college. She used to do the grocery shopping and cooking for the house, for which she was given money.
OP tried this with the middle kid during the first week after his sister moved out. All the money was spent on delivery by him and his brother in just two days. OP didn’t give them more money so they had to spend their own and they were angry.
Read: He REFUSED To Pay Her Daughter’s College Fees Because She Din’t Like His “New” Family. Is He Right?
What Happened Next?
OP started buying the basics like pasta, bread, eggs, cheese. He would only cook for himself. OP’s ex-wife, his daughter, and OP had all tried to teach the boys on how to cook but they refused. So they had to cut back on their expenses because OP wouldn’t buy ready-to-eat meals, delivery, or food prep.
The ex-spouse had moved to Wisconsin and the kids did not want to live with her. They preferred the Texas winters after experiencing just one winter up north.
Read: He Refused Her Stay-At-Home Wife Any Money To Help Her Family And Friends. We Think He Is Right.
They talked to OP the other day about food again. They said that OP was being cheap by not providing them with better food options. It was Saturday so he went into the fridge and pulled out some chicken thighs OP had defrosted. In an hour OP had butter chicken and broccoli with naan bread for their lunch.
It was conveyed to them that there would be no changes to the household management. They were offered to go to college and have their meal plan covered, but they declined as they liked their lives, except for the food situation.
OP’s mom called OP and said that he was being mean to her poor babies. OP offered to send them to live with her. She politely declined and dropped it. This is done with everyone who use to contact OP on their behalf and then they were informed about the outcome. They fail to comprehend why nobody wanted them to live with them, leading the parent to think that they raised two foolish children.
What Do People Have To Say?
A Redditor says, “NTA. I thought you were depriving small kids of food and was ready to blast you. You seem to be describing two young adults who have graduated from high school and have failed to launch. They seem to be running out the clock on the inheritance. Yeah they can learn to cook or eat ramen then”.
Similarly, another one said, “NTA – they were pampered by their sister and have bad habits. They have money, they can shop, they can spend their own money on things they want. They just have to deal with it. You could start charging them rent? Tell them they need to chip in for groceries? Establish some rules with them about finances? Otherwise they are going to blow through that inheritance and they will be right back living with you”.
Both the kids are young adults and physically capable to take care of themselves. They need to be taught responsibility. At the same time, wondering if OP raised two stupid kids, is on OP. Parenting is difficult, and tests you at every stage. If you think you raised them wrong, there is time to make it right and it is now.
Do you agree with him? Was it inappropriate for OP to cheap out on the meals? Was OP right in asking everyone else who advocated to keep the kids with them and then wonder if they raised stupid kids? What would you do in this situation?