Wife Threatens To “DIVORCE” Husband If He Accepts His Dream Job. Says, “You Need To Move Out” Is This Fair? We Think It Is!

A woman online is demanding that her husband give up his dream job to ensure that her own career does not suffer. While this may seem strange, we believe that she is absolutely justified in her request.

A netizen recently asked, Am I a jerk for asking my husband to turn down his dream job for my career? We want to hear your views.

Backstory:

OP (33F) is the breadwinner of their household. She has multiple highly specialized degrees in a niche industry. She makes 200k+, with the potential to get in the 600-M range. Her company has not been hit that badly by COVID, so most of them have kept their jobs, but they’re held to strict standards.

OP’s Husband’s Dream Job

OP’s husband (36M) has a broad degree/work experience. He quit his job right before COVID hit, hoping for a better job in the meantime, and OP was supportive. He spent a ton of time applying to various jobs and finally landed an interview at Organization X.

This is his dream job, in almost every imaginable way (OP can’t be detailed). However, it’s paying about 65k a year, which would be fine except this job directly puts OP’s job stability at risk.

The Rivalry Between The Two Companies

OP’s company and this org. are adversarial at best. Her field is highly secretive, and if clients discovered her spouse was working for a competitor, she would be permanently tainted. She wouldn’t be able to get a job in the industry forever.

What Does OP Say

OP says, “I know this sounds like an exaggeration, but I promise you, it absolutely is not. It’d be like if I worked in protecting the privacy of celebrities, and he worked for TMZ.

If he tapped my car and got into my work devices, he could use that to advance his career, and any trust I have in this field will be gone. Even if I trusted my husband not to do that, my clients and company don’t. Worse, because my background is so specialized, this is the only field I can work in.”

What Did OP Want Her Husband To Do?

OP asked him to drop consideration for this job since if he got it, they’d lose her income. 65k a year cannot support them in this city. Plus, he does not have to work for this organization.

Even if the job market is awful right now, his background gives him access to a wide range of jobs, but she only has this one, niche field.

What Did He Do

OP’s husband was extremely angry and said she was “selfish and only cared about money.” OP told him that if he wanted to go back to school for an advanced degree or just be unemployed for a while, she would support him, but taking this job isn’t possible.

He continued the process behind OP’s back and got the offer. He wants to accept it because he says his career needs to take priority and that OP wasn’t being a supportive wife.

How Did OP Feel About All This & What Did She Do Next?

OP felt so betrayed, and she contacted all relevant higher-ups in her company to inform them. She notified them as soon as he got the interview because she thinks it’s better to come from her email than from a background check.

OP told her husband he could decline the offer, with her watching him physically decline it, or he could accept the offer and move out immediately. OP would pay for him to stay two weeks at a hotel, and they would begin divorce proceedings. OP’s company is willing to take care of all of her legal fees.

OP says, “I feel damn awful. I still love him. I moved decisively because this was the best way to cut my losses, but it still hurts. He called me heartless and cold. It’s true that I was prioritizing my career over his, but it felt like the only option at the time.”

You Did The Right Thing

“Not the jerk. Some are saying you’ve decided your job is more important than your husband. They’re ignoring that he seems to have decided a job offer is more important than **your entire career**. I was ready to call you the jerk considering we frequently see people unnecessarily prioritize their careers over their spouses when compromise is possible. However, he’s refusing to compromise.

To address the people calling this a trust issue – it doesn’t matter if she trusts him. Her company and her clients don’t. He knows this and chose to pursue this job anyway. If she doesn’t trust someone who’s willing to destroy her entire career for a single job I don’t blame her.

Men aren’t usually the spouse making career sacrifices for the greater good of the couple. I don’t know for sure but that could be something he’s struggling with.”

Does Organization X Know About Your Professional Whereabouts?

“Not the jerk. And I wonder if Organization X will still want your husband once he becomes your ex?” Said one.

“Either they know where his wife works and hired him because of that or they don’t know and wouldn’t have hired him if they knew. Would be interesting to see which one it is.” Another added.

It’s On Him For Putting You In That Difficult Position

“Not the jerk. You told him from the beginning that if he took this job it would end your specialized career. He went ahead with the application behind your back.

Regrettably, he put you in the position of choosing between him and your career. I think you made the right choice, you clearly resent what he’s done and I can’t see that getting better if you lose everything you worked for.”

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