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14 Red Flags That Make You Say “Nope” How Much Ever Long Ago It Was

Red flags are warning signs that something is wrong in a relationship. They can be big or small, but they should always be taken seriously. Some red flags are so egregious that they should be dealbreakers, regardless of how long ago they happened or whether the person has changed.

An internet user asked, “What is a red flag that makes you say ‘I don’t care how long ago it was or that you don’t do it anymore, it’s still a red flag now?’.

Have a look at the responses below!

Abuse Of All Kinds 

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“Anything that involves abuse or neglect of children, elderly, disabled, or animals.” 

Threatening With A Knife

Child trafficking and abuse concept with small girl

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“There’s this guy who pulled a knife on my brother and threatened him over a woman. It was years ago and everyone forgave him (including my brother). I still haven’t. I don’t want to befriend him.” 

Approval Of Extramarital Affairs 

couple fight upset

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“I learned the hard way. Early in our relationship, my GF answered ‘having affairs with 3 married men in my twenties’ when I asked what was her biggest regret in life.

Guess what caused our divorce.” 

Domination Or Control

2. Couple Angry Fight

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“Domination/control. There is a guy I used to fish with who described that he liked domination, talked about alpha crap, etc. 

Sure enough, he would take over planning almost every time we went out. On the rare occasion, he didn’t, it was just a long game to have more control at a later date.

And, he doesn’t improve at all in skill level either. His drive to be in control means he almost never tries new stuff and is very resistant to learning any way other than mimicking what he observes to work.” 

Child Abuse

a family quarrel divorce parents and child swear, conflict

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“My sister dated a convicted child abuser for years before and while he was going to prison, she refused to tell anyone what he had done and just asked us to trust him.

Someone who does this can never be trusted again in my book. You don’t sneak that kind of thing she wanted to bring him to meet my daughter when he got out…” 

Monkey Branching Or Overlapping 

Jealous young woman looking at loving couple sitting park bench, resentment

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“Monkey branching. They’re just people-users and will replace you.”, said one. 

“Ah, another word for the ‘overlapping’ people. They say ‘It’s not cheating’ as they emotionally start to line up the new person on the back burner.

They might ‘technically’ leave you before any physical/sexuality is involved, but wriggle words aside it is an emotional affair.”, another added. 

Bad Parenting


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“Yessss! Especially those people who get their kids taken from them from Child Protection yet they still keep having more and those kids get taken also. Yet the Parent blames everyone else and not themselves.” 

Anger Issues

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“Anger issues. You can work on it of course but I will always be wary of you. And I will not be involved with a person with anger issues because I won’t respond well to it.” 

Mocking Therapy Or Mental Illness Treatment 


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“Viewing therapy/mental illness treatment with deep skepticism or mockery. It means that if they’re messed up they’re not going to do anything about it, and in fact will probably lash out and gaslight you if you suggest they need help.”



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“Drugs. I worked on corrections for a long time. Grew up in the ghetto. Parents both love drugs. I’m glad people get clean and build their life up.

But I’ve been around too many drugs my whole life and don’t want to play as a pseudo-drug counselor the rest of their life.” 

When Someone Avoids Confrontation 

Couple having quarrel in cafe. Relationship problems

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“Every time somebody avoids confrontation by saying: ‘I was only joking’. Never gets old, a really huge red flag for me.” 

An Unwillingness To Accept Blame

A young couple arguing at the breakfast table

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“An unwillingness to accept blame may seem like small fries in comparison to most of the other comments here, but it’s a big one for me. If you’re the kind of person who feels completely justified in all the painful interpersonal conflicts you’ve had, I know that you are not friend material.” 

Severe Bullying 


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“Bullying someone so severely that it resulted in the victim developing a mental illness or attempting/committing self harm.” 

Insane Behavior From Political Extremists 

fighting with couple on tech

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“A lot of the behavior and words from the extremists on both political sides.

Some of us won’t forget how insane some of y’all have been acting these last few years.” 

Intentional Home Wrecking

Sad marrying couple in a church

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“Intentional home wrecking. There are people in this world who get their kicks splitting up relationships. Absolutely love pulling a married person or breaking up a couple.

I don’t care that you’ve “changed” or that finding love made you see the error of your ways, or whatever. You sought the ego boost of being a side piece, you found joy in hurting others. And if I find out about it, doesn’t matter how long ago it was, now I don’t trust you.”

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The article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.