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19 Ways to Express Yourself Without Cursing Like a Sailor

While cursing can be a natural way to express our emotions, it is important to be mindful of where and when we do it. In some settings, such as public places or at home with young children, it is best to avoid cursing altogether. So, what to use instead that packs the same punch? We have some alternatives for you. 

SON OF A MONKEY

refuse to hear whatever man

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“My wife always says, “Son of a monkey.” I don’t even know what it means.”

OH FARTS

Middle age man wearing business suit making fish face with lips, crazy and comical gesture. funny expression.

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“Had a call from a wrong number once. They said, “Hi Sarah?” I said “Sorry I think you have the wrong number,” they said “Oh farts” and hung up.”

HORSE FEATHERS

Pretty brunette shouting with hands on head on white background

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“My Mormon father never swore his whole life, even in the military. When he was angry, he’d usually shout: HORSE FEATHERS!”

SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT

MODEL with scared expression, keeps hands on head, jaw dropped, has terrific expression. Omg concept

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“Son of a motherless goat”

GOT DANDRUFF SOME OF IT ITCHES

Young blond curly hair caucasian man isolated doubting and shrugging shoulders in questioning gesture.

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My friend was helping me work on my car and the wrench slipped and he punched the frame and he yelled “GOT DANDRUFF SOME OF IT ITCHES”

HOCKEN BOCKEN

young woman doing an aggressive gesture on white

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“I worked with a very religious, endlessly positive old guy. He’d walk in at 6 am in the dead of winter and say something like “ah, another beautiful day!” That might have been the painkillers, but that’s another story.

I can’t remember what happened, but he walked in the door, raised his voice, and said “Hot dang, son of a bee, bocken hocken”

The diet curse words weren’t doing it for him so he had to come up with a couple new ones ”

SON OF A BISCUIT

Close-up portrait of unhappy upset businessman guy isolated on gray background

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“I use that one frequently. My coworker, who I adore, just says “son of a bad word”…and I crack up every time she does it.”

FART IN A MITTEN

Depositphotos_332847492_S

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“Fart in a mitten. – I don’t know what it means but my old coworker said it all the time when upset.”

SON OF A COW IS A CALF

Close-up,Of,Confused,Blond,Girl,In,Grey,Sweater,,Pointing,Finger

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“I hit my head on a ceiling fan and exclaimed, “Son of a cow … is a calf.” My wife tried VERY hard not to laugh.”

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR

Young,Woman,Yelling,At,Boyfriend,In,Hysterics,,Drama,Queen,Screaming

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“‘Shut the front door’ always gets me.”

BACK THE TRUCK UP

Nervous,Embarassed,Man,Bites,Nails,,Looks,Worried,Before,Visiting,Doctor

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“Back the truck up”, similarly so.

BARNACLES

Desperate,Coquette,Woman,Going,To,Cry,,Has,Sorrorful,Expression,,Regrets

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“At my house, we yell BARNACLES!”

HOLY FORKING SHIRT BALLS

Young,Girl,Listening,Music,In,Headphones,,Urban,Street,Style,outdoor,Street

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“I really enjoyed the introduction of “Holy forking shirt balls” in The Good Place”

FIDDLESTICKS

Overworking,Concept.,Tired,Young,Woman,Holding,Book,On,Her,Head,

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“This reminds me of my hs teacher who kept saying “gosh darn.”

TARTER SAUCE

Portrait,Of,Cheerful,Surprised,Mysterious,Young,Woman,Keeps,Hands,Near

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“In classic SpongeBob episodes, he’d either say “ah tarter-sauce.” Or “barnacles.” Bonus: “Fish paste!”

CHEESE AND CRACKERS

Brunette,Girl,Is,Bored,,Dressed,In,Black,,Isolated,On,White

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“Cheese and crackers” in place of jesus christ.

I use to always say “jeez”. And this girl I worked with would always respond “Cheese? I like cheese!”

FLIP YOU

Ew.,It's,So,Gross.,Young,Woman,With,Disgusted,Expression,Repulsing

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“A friend once shouted ‘Flip you, you flipping flipper’ at me once I beat him in a hand of poker.”

FLIPPING FLIPPER

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“You flipping flipper” 

GOODNESS GRAVY

Portrait,Of,Perplexed,Asian,Kazakh,Girl,With,A,Dazed,Face

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“My husband, who swears like the trucker he is, will say “goodness gravy!” because he heard some lady say it and thought it was hilarious.”

“I started saying “goodness gravy” because every time I said “goodness gracious” my SO would say “great balls of fire!”

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This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.