Parenting is not just about nurturing and caring for a child but also setting expectations for them.
As children grow and develop, it’s essential to encourage them to strive for success while allowing them to make their own choices and mistakes.
A Redditor asked, “Am I wrong for telling my daughter to give up on her dreams?” We want to know what you think. Here is the entire story:
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) is a doctor who graduated from one of the top medical schools in the country. Because of this, OP claims to know what it takes to make it as a doctor.
OP’s eldest daughter is also on a medical track: she goes to a top 20 school and excels. She is a junior and will probably attend one of the best med schools next year.
However, OP says that her youngest daughter is not like them.
Math and science come more naturally for the eldest daughter and OP. OP says, “it’s not something we need to work hard at. My youngest daughter, however, really struggles with these topics. In college, she has to study for her STEM classes for hours and hours to get the average grade at a school that’s not very difficult.”
OP admits that her youngest daughter is a VERY hard worker but adds that hard work cannot become a doctor.
In OP’s words, “that hard work could be placed to a field that she can excel in instead of being a doctor; she will always struggle in med school, but she can take her talents elsewhere and become an amazing law or business major.”
What Happened Next?
OP’s youngest called her yesterday and told her she had trouble getting accepted with an internship and asked if she could work with OP this summer.
OP told her that she should reconsider the medical profession because she spends all day studying and is barely average. OP doesn’t think she can succeed as a doctor. However, OP reassured her that it was okay and she could find something else to shine in. OP ended the call with, “I love you.”
After this, OP’s eldest daughter, ex-husband, mother, and siblings have been spamming her and telling me to apologize. OP’s youngest won’t even pick up the phone.
OP says, “I understand that her feelings may have been hurt, and while that’s valid, I think tough love will help her in the future. For example, it may have hurt her feelings when she was younger because I wouldn’t let her eat cookies for dinner. Still, as a parent, you must protect your children, even when it hurts them in the short term.”
What do you think? Was OP right in telling her daughter that she couldn’t do something? Or was it inappropriate for OP to compare her youngest with herself and her elder daughter?
This article originally appears on Mrs. Daaku Studio.