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She Paid For The House, Car & Savings. He Refuses To Give Her Spending Money And He Thinks He Is Right.

Money is a significant factor in life. It can often become a source of conflict in relationships, particularly when one or both partners have different attitudes, habits, expectations, and financial contributions. But what if one doesn’t want to help another?

Redditor asked, “Am I wrong for not wanting to pay for my wife’s spending money?” Here is the full story:

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What You Need To know?

The Original Poster (OP) is married and has a daughter. Before the birth of this daughter, the OP, and his wife both worked full-time in low-middle-earning jobs. OP’s wife’s job paid a bit more than his, but only by a little. 

OP’s wife returned to work when their daughter was 3 months old because of necessity. The OP says his wife’s mental health became terrible, and she has a minor disability that makes work life hard. She found it worse after having the daughter. There was, however, no other choice according to both of them. 

OP’s wife’s nan, who raised her and was her only family, passed away when the daughter was 6 months old. OP’s wife inherited everything, and it was a pretty big inheritance. It was enough to buy a decent house straightaway, a new car, and put some away for a comfortable retirement. 

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What Happened After The Death Of Her Nan?

Shortly after OP’s wife’s nan died, she became a stay-at-home mom

It was partially due to grief and struggles at her job and a bit because she preferred to stay home and care for her daughter. The OP says, “Thing is though, I’d rather not work and be a stay-at-home dad too, but I’ve been sucking it up because we still need an income to get by.”

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OP’s Wife’s View And What He Said:

OP’s wife spoke with the OP on budgeting so we can live off of just one income. OP’s wife has been dipping into savings to pull her weight, but that’s tied in investments now.

The OP says, “I said if I’m the one who has to work (and I’d rather not), I don’t think I should have to spend my money funding her hobbies and spending money. If she chooses not to work, she can buy clothes at the charity shop instead of new clothes and get a friend to cut her hair for free, etc.

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OP says she can get a job working a night shift or start an online business to contact her spending money. OP says he doesn’t see why he should pay for stuff her sewing materials and gym memberships since he doesn’t benefit from them at all. 

OP says, “I’m happy to pay for stuff for our daughter seeing as she’s my responsibility, so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable here.”

The OP mentions that he works 36 hours weekly and pays for the bills and food. OP’s wife argued it is not fair if the OP can enjoy his gym membership and videos, but she cannot. The OP contends that he pays all of that with his money. 

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Reaction From His Wife:

At this point, OP’s wife said her inheritance was worth more than if she had spent her whole life working. Without that, both (OP and her) would be working anyway and have higher expenses from mortgage, car loans, etc. She asked the OP to count that as her contribution and share his money. 

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The OP asks am I wrong?

Was OP correct to refuse to give spend money? Was it inappropriate for him to say that she should manage her own money and he won’t pay for her hobbies, etc.? How would you have reacted in this situation?

This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.