What do you expect from your family? When do you think you overstep boundaries? A user asked, Am I wrong for asking my sister to babysit my kids?
We want to hear from you.
Backstory
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The Original Poster (OP) is a 23-year-old woman with three kids (a 3-year-old girl, a 2-year-old boy, and a 1-year-old son). OP says, “It’s been hard taking care of three kids on my own, and their dad isn’t in the picture anymore as he’s decided to go a different path in his life.”
OP Lives With Mom and Sister
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OP lives with her mom and my sister (25F), who goes to college and works. She goes to work “maybe” 15 hours a week (a part-time job).
According to OP, she does nothing in her free time but stays at home, and OP wants to mention she does her college courses online, so 75% of the time, she’s at home with me.
What Happened Yesterday?
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Yesterday, OP needed a break, and her mom never wanted to help. So, OP asked her sister, who said she didn’t want to do it.
No Reasonable Explanation
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On asking for a reason, OP’s sister had no reasonable explanation, and when OP kept pestering, she told her it was because she was going to watch her friend’s daughter in a few hours. When the time came, she never babysat this “friend’s daughter.”
What Did OP Do?
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At that point, OP was so frustrated that OP was being lied to that OP just asked her again if she’d watch them. OP just put her two oldest in her room and left with the youngest son. OP told her OP needed a break and that if she loved OP, she’d do this for her.
OP’s Sister Thinks She Overstepped Boundaries
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OP’s sister thinks she overstepped her boundaries, but OP doesn’t see how she could’ve when she is a mom of 3 and reasonably needed a break when her sister wasn’t doing anything.
What do you think? Was it right for OP’s sister to refuse to babysit the kids? or Was it inappropriate for OP to push something like this on the sister?
Here is what others think of this:
She Has Full-Time College And A Job
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“Is this real? If so you are a jerk on steroids. It’s none of your damned business why she doesn’t want to babysit. She’s full-time college student also holding down a part-time job. Apologize to her.”
You’re A Bully
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“Doing online courses from home is not far from working from home.
They’re doing what they’re obligated to in the comfort of their home, but they still need to be in the mindset to do it. They’re still working/learning. They aren’t there to be your extra in your life. And your three kids are your problem, not your mom’s or your sister’s. She doesn’t have to give you a reason, and if you’re mad she lied to you, it’s because you were being a nag and wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.
NOT. HER. KIDS. NOT. HER. PROBLEM. Either look at subsidized daycare or figure out if you can manage independently because you ARE on your own. If not? Look at the system. You’ve had 3 kids in 3 years. I feel bad for you, but not bad enough not to think you’re the jerk here because you’re trying to bully your older college-attending sister to do your dirty work. She doesn’t want to, and she doesn’t have to.”
You Are Blackmailing
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“Wow. You are a jerk. Your kids are your responsibility, not your sister’s. Why did you make so many kids if you cannot care for them ?!
You say if she loved me, she’d do this for me. And if you’d love her, you wouldn’t do emotional blackmail to escape your parental responsibilities.”
You’re Not A Jerk For Asking
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“Not a jerk for asking, but you are a jerk for getting mad and resentful. She works and goes to college. She doesn’t have to or want to watch three toddlers. Not very many people do. This is your life, not your sister’s or mother’s.”
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