Dad Supports Daughter As Mom Revokes Her Driving Privileges. Says, “There Is Nothing Wrong Driving With Two Feet”. Is He Being Stupid?

It’s possible to learn bad habits when you’re first learning to drive. One of these bad habits is driving an automatic car with two feet. This can be dangerous, so it’s important to correct this habit as soon as possible.

A user recently asked the forum, Am I a jerk for revoking my daughter’s driving privileges after finding out she is using 2 feet? We need you to answer.

Backstory

The Original Poster’s (OP’s) (37F) daughter (16F) is in the process of navigating the roads as a new driver.

She began studying for and got her permit when she was 15, and has since been receiving driving lessons from OP’s ex-husband (40M). She passed her driving test (written and physical portion) and is an outstanding student, so OP and her ex decided to gift her a car as her 16th birthday gift (after receiving her license). 

What Happened During The Driving Lessons?

Growing up, OP’s dad was the one who taught her and her siblings how to ride a bike and, later how to drive. She has a fond memory of him, so she decided to let her daughter’s father handle the driving lessons/teaching business so that they could have that as well. 

What Did OP Notice

OP says, “During these lessons, my daughter started using both feet. Right foot for the gas, left for the brake. She continued to drive this way for a while, even passing her test this way.

Ex-Husband Found Out About It

Apparently, when my ex-husband found out about this, he brought it up to her and asked her to correct it but she argued that she has been driving this way since she started and that reverting to the normal way would be potentially dangerous, and that she is uncomfortable doing so. So my ex-husband just dropped it.”

What Happened When OP Found Out? 

OP was extremely concerned when she found this out (via her dad during a casual convo).

She asked him if he thought this was appropriate, and he said he saw nothing wrong and that she was a good driver. OP disagreed and told him this was unsafe and that she would be having a chat with their daughter once she arrived home from school. 

What Did OP Tell Her

When she did, OP asked her to sit down and tried to explain to her the dangers of what she is doing. Wear and tear on the brakes, potentially pressing the wrong pedal in a split-second emergency, not to mention the higher chance of having her foot on the break the entire time, which is not only annoying to other drivers (with them not being able to know whether you are breaking or not) and again, dangerous. 

Did Her Daughter Take Her Points Seriously?

Next, OP asked her to please consider these points and change her method of driving, to which she argued the only real danger would be forcing her to switch to using only one foot for both pedals after driving this way for so long.

OP told her she has only been driving for about a year, more or less, and the same way she learned with two, she could learn with one, to which she flat-out refused. 

What Did OP Do Finally?

OP further says, “After our conversation and her refusal I took her keys and told her I would be taking her to school from now on, and wherever else need be. She was upset and called her dad, who called me to tell me I’m a jerk and controlling. He reminded me that her driving record is fine the way she is driving thus far (but it’s only been a year) and that she will resent me for this. 

So, Am I a jerk? I don’t want to come off as controlling, and I definitely don’t want my daughter to resent me over this. I am genuinely concerned for her safety over this and am not sure what to do now.”

You’re Considering Her Safety, That’s It

“Not the jerk. You’re considering her safety and the safety of others on the road.” Said one. 

“Yeah, just because she’s comfortable doing it, doesn’t make it safe.” Another added.”

Had This Been Checked Before, She Wouldn’t Have Passed 

“I’m certain if the person she took her driving test knew she was driving this way, SHE WOULD NOT HAVE PASSED (at least not for my area) I’ve had a friend drive like that and got told to fix their feet before the car even started moving! End of story. This is an idiotic way of driving.” 

More Conversation Needed

“Given that you’ve tried to talk to her, you’re not the jerk. Clearly, this needs more conversation though. Continue talking (calmly and respectfully). But yeah, that’s super dangerous.”

Be Strong, Mom

“If you do a quick Google search, using two feet wears out brake pads and causes accidents. Most driving schools do not allow it. Be strong, Mom.  Just because she hadn’t had an accident yet (thanks Dad) doesn’t mean she won’t in the future. If she wants to drive your car, follow your rules.” 

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.