Nosy Parker’s Shut-Down Guide: 15 Brilliant Retorts to the Annoying Baby Question

Prying relatives often ask, "When are you having kids?", becoming intrusive and frustrating. A netizen seeking a comeback received wild responses.

Make It Backfire

“After meeting your children, we’ve decided to not.” Said one.  “This is super effective against your own grandparents.” Another added. 

Be Savage

"My husband told my aunt, 'We like to practice a lot', shutting her up," said one. "Told my cousins, 'We're not sure but practicing!' No more questions from that family side," another added.

We Don’t Do That Here

"One's quick response to in-laws: “We don’t do it that way". Defending his fiancée from her family's control, she prefers his family's customs. A useful comeback."

Make It Seem Like They Chose Death

"Cemetery plot purchase?" One asked. "My grandma hopes to see her great-grandchild before she dies," another chimed in. Suddenly asking her to set a precise date shut her up.

Let God Be Your Savior

"Religion worked, we'd say, “We believe in God's plan.” One said. “When God wills it,” was another's mantra with their religious family."

Ask Money Questions

"When will you pay for them?" People quiet down when money's involved. "My MIL stopped after I asked for a $75k check to get pregnant," another chimed in.

The Threesome Technique

"Why curious about our love life? Planning to join?" One asked. "Want to attend my next gynecologist visit, since you're so keen on my private matters?" Another quipped.

Make It Awkward

“When are you losing weight? I’m sorry I thought we were asking inappropriate questions.” Said one. “I’ll gain the baby weight when you drop yours. Lmao.” Another added.

The Straightforward Response

"Answering "Why do you ask?" forces them to justify their query. Some may persist despite discomfort. Tell them such personal issues are off the table." You're not obliged to discuss your love life.

The Double Meaning Reply

“We are trying, but it’s a long journey to the egg from her face.” Said one.  “That’ll leave the asker with egg on their face, too!” Another added.

The Gayish Talks

"I enjoy saying I can't get pregnant. People assume I'm sick and can't have kids. I'm just a lesbian."<

Be Polite, Direct, And Ignore

"When faced with rude questions, reply politely, 'I can't imagine why that would interest you', then ignore or shift the subject."

Be Dramatic Or Vulgar

"Burst into fake crying, mention your pain callously. When usual responses fail, use blatant vulgarity about your relationship habits."

Get To The Point

“Who would be stupid enough to have kids right now?!”

Blame The Shootings

"One cited school shootings as a reason to delay having kids - it's a harsh reality for us teachers." Her mom was speechless.

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