Skip to Content

Wife Doesn’t Allow Husband Into Delivery Room, He Goes Home. Says, “I See No Point”. Is This Spiteful?

When a husband faces exclusion from the delivery room, it raises questions about his role in childbirth. But, can he just leave?

A user asked, Am I a jerk for going home when my wife didn’t let me into the delivery room? We want you to introspect.



Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

The Original Poster’s (OP) (28M) wife (29F) gave birth a few days ago.

They had what he believed to be a reasonably standard pregnancy, and he did his best to make things easy for her. He took her to the hospital when she was due, and her sister and mother met them there.

When Did The Problem Start

Husband having Argument Upset Pregnant Wife at Home

Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

The problem started when she was taken to the delivery room.

She asked the nurse that only her mother and sister (F27) be allowed in the delivery and then told OP that she wanted him to wait until “she had delivered and calmed down” before letting him into the room

What Was OP’s Immediate Reaction To The Situation?

Pregnant black woman having quarrel with husband while cooking together in kitchen, copy space. Upset african american expecting lady having headache and angry man with arms crossed looking at her

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP says “I was kind of shocked and didn’t want to make a scene so I just said OK and sat down in the waiting room. We had not really discussed the plan for the hospital, and I had no reason to think I wouldn’t be there when my son was born.”

What Happened Next?

Leave me alone. Dismal pregnant woman turning from man and lamenting

Image Credit; Deposit Photos

Next, OP texted his wife’s sister if she knew she would do this. She said no. He told her to ask if his wife was concerned about something because he doesn’t consider himself someone who would have made a fuss or made things more difficult for her.

She texted back after a while, saying that his wife “just doesn’t want him to see her like this” and then added that she disagreed with her and tried to convince her but ultimately, it was her choice and he should be respecting it.

What Did OP Do?

Redhead man with long beard holding a cocktail isolated on blue background with surprise and shocked facial expression

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

After 6 hours of sitting in the waiting room and getting minimal updates as the labor was fairly slow, OP decided that there was no point so he texted his wife’s sister that he was going home, he’d meet his son when they brought him home and handle the birth certificate stuff the next day.

What Happened When OP’s Wife Came Back Home?

asian indian businessman with eye glasses wondering gesture isolated on white background

Image Credit; Deposit Photos

OP’s wife and her sister and mother came back home about 9 hours later and he was finally able to meet his son.

He says “When my wife’s mother and sister left she got furious at me for leaving her at the hospital. I was angry too but I told her that we can talk about this in a few days because she’s just given birth.

She Wouldn’t Drop The Subject

Angry young mother fed up with doing the laundry, holding her crying child and talking on the phone in the same time.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

She wouldn’t drop the subject so I finally told her that she excluded me from the birth of my son for no reason, I didn’t see the need to hang around a hospital waiting room for hours doing nothing, and that even her own sister thinks what she did was wrong.

She said there could have been complications and I needed to be there, to which I replied that I wouldn’t have been there because she kept me out of the room and the doctors would have handled any problems anyways.”

She Called OP Inconsiderate

Horizontal portrait of shocked caucasian male models against yellow background looks with great surprisment being very stunned, astonished with unexpected news, . Facial expressions concept.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

His wife called OP an inconsiderate jerk and had been talking short with him for several days. Her sister told him that he should just apologize and move past it because it was a stressful time for his wife, but he thinks he’s owed a bigger apology first for how he was excluded from his own son’s birth. Is OP really being a jerk?

Waiting Until The Last Minute Is SO NOT DONE

portrait of handsome young asian man dobting

Image Credit; Deposit Photos

“If your wife didn’t want you to be in the delivery room, that should have been discussed ahead of time. She essentially shut the door in your face and expects you to have just waited in the uncomfortable waiting room for 15 hours. That’s not okay.”

It’s Complicated & Weird

annoyed man

Image Credit; Deposit Photos

“This is so complicated. I mean it is her choice who to have in the room but to want you to wait outside the room without even discussing it with you prior to the birth, basically blindsiding you is very inconsiderate.

If it was the actual birth I could understand her not wanting certain people there since it would be her choice, but not wanting you there during the labor process which can take days is just weird. Waiting for hours on end with no real updates would be upsetting to anyone and make them anxious”

‘Leaving The Hospital’ Was Not An Option

Cunning man rubbing his hands on isolated background, person rubbing his hands planning something, concept of cunning man planning something

Image Credit; Deposit Photos

“The birthing plans should have been discussed months ago. It wasn’t right for her to spring that on you last minute, but I can’t believe you just LEFT THE HOSPITAL where your wife and child were going through a possibly life-threatening ordeal. Your wife has every right to decide who helps her through the traumatic experience of birth, this has nothing to do with your “right” to see your son’s first moments. 

You left the hospital purely out of spite. I see a lot of talk about being there for your son and not a single thought of being there for your wife.”

Poor Communication Messed Things Up

Photo of astonished lady wear violet trendy clothes impressed good news win lottery omg how it possible isolated on pink color background.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

 “You both need to communicate. 

OP, you didn’t have to leave the hospital, especially when you obviously wanted to be there. You have missed out on being there. 

Your wife should have informed you of her wishes during the pregnancy and not blindside you in a moment where you couldn’t really discuss it further. 

Ultimately it was her choice but you disappearing makes it look like you either don’t care or are being petty.” 

Some Counseling Might Help

hispanic pretty woman open-mouthed and amazed, shocked and astonished with an unbelievable surprise

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“She should have told OP that she wanted her mom and her sister there, but he WAS a jerk for leaving. He could have called a parent, a sibling, a friend, anyone to keep him company while he paced and worried, but she didn’t want him in the room. He is being a real jerk about it. Marriage counseling is in order. Trust is low in this relationship.’

Her Reason Might Not Be Invalid, Though

You can do it

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“I think what bothers me is people pretending “I don’t want you to see me like this” isn’t a valid reason to not want your husband in the room as you push blood, dump, and an entire human out of a tiny hole in your body.

Like you’re about to go through what could possibly be the most horrible pain of your life and could even kill you, and the person you love is just standing there watching you in pain, and now, instead of being able to focus on pushing out your tiny football, you’re stressing about whether or not your husband thinks you’re gross or won’t find you attractive after seeing you like that.

Hell, even if he does, the feeling that he couldn’t possibly linger in your head for years after. That extra stress can be incredibly harmful both during birth and after. A pregnant woman isn’t a jerk for wanting to eliminate that possibility.

That said, ideally talk about it ahead of time at least. But saying no doesn’t make you the jerk. Especially if your husband never suggested wanting to watch.”

More From Mrs Daaku Studio

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

He Took Care of His Daughter For Two Weeks While Wife Was Away. Says, “For all the work that I did, the one tiny mistake I made, and she slammed for after 2 weeks.” Is He Right? 

Read more to know what happened.

He REFUSED To Let The Passenger In Front of Him To Recline Her Seat on a Flight. She Calls Him A Jerk. Is This Justified?

Tired blonde casual caucasian lady napping on uncomfortable seat while traveling by airplane. Commercial transportation by planes.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

He refused to let the passenger in front of him recline the seat. She gets irritated, but we think she is the one who is wrong. You decide. Read here. 

She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right

Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

She REFUSED To Pay Her Friend $7000 For Her Share of Trip To Italy. We Think She Did Right. Read here

He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right

Portrait of an annoyed woman

Image Credit; Deposit Photos

He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance & 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right. 

Read more.

He Took His friend’s Wallet By Mistake, and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far?

portrait of handsome young asian man dobting

Image Credit; Deposit Photos

He Took His Friends Wallet By Mistake, and REFUSED To Return It When Asked. Thinks His Friend Is A Jerk, Not Him. Did He Go Too Far?  Read here.

This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.