A Redditor took to the forum and asked if “Am I wrong for calling out my wife’s adult son to stop wearing crazy “revealing” clothes in front of my family?”
The Original Poster (OP) is a 38-year-old man.
He is married to Alice, and it has been 7 years. They have twins and a happy family. The OP’s wife has a son, Luke, who is 19. Luke got an athletic college scholarship but dropped out and started pursuing a career as a musician in another city. He stays in OP’s and Alice’s home whenever he visits for holidays or vacations.
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What Does He Mean By Crazy Clothes?
Luke is tall and difficult to be unnoticed. The OP says, “When I say revealing clothes, I mean that he wears thigh shorts, so tight you can see his boxers, crop tops, women’s blouses… I mean, it is very distracting as his p*bes and trail are very visible. One time I caught him wearing a skirt while watching TV in our living room. I gave him a disapproving look, and all he said to me was, “man, you know we’re Irish, don’t you?”… which is a crazy thing to say, and I think kilts are from Scotland anyway, but that’s not the point.”
He goes on to add, “In another instance, he would sit for dinner with a necklace made of pearls, eyeshadow, and a fur coat… for example, my mother and sisters and their kids visited us for Christmas, and they agreed that it was odd to have a guy dressing like that around the house. Especially in front of so many women….”
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What Happened When The OP Confronts Him?
The OP, a few weeks after Christmas dinner, talked to Luke and voiced his concern. Luke said, “okay, cap’ no problem,” and “Okay, sir! Yes sir! Copy that, sir. OP felt Luke was mocking him.
OP shares that he got angry and yelled at him. In fact, the OP vents his frustration and shares his concerns with his wife. However, Alice (OP’s wife) did not support him even when he raised concerns about their twins getting influenced by the older brother acting like a fool.
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On checking Alice’s phone, OP found that she was texting Luke and making fun of OP. The conversation, according to OP, went like this – “Now your husband is body shaming me. LOL, I didn’t get the Hugo-boss dress code memo.” My wife replied, “Follow the dress code, young man, or you’ll be executed at midnight. I don’t make the rules, babe. I’m sorry xx“.
Reading this, the OP got mad and gave Alice and Luke the silent treatment for the rest of the holiday. Alice tried to talk to OP, saying that Luke doesn’t wear anything around the house that he wouldn’t wear in public. She also said the twins would likely witness that style sooner or later, whether the OP likes it.
To OP, she sounded condescending. He felt he wasn’t making any unreasonable demands and felt bullied for expressing reasonable concerns about his twins and family seeing that in their home.
OP wants to know if he is in the wrong?
Redditors tagged him as the A..hole. One of them says, “YTA. We know because you said this was about him dressing “revealingly,” but you still had a problem when he was covered up at Christmas dinner (when a pearl necklace is totally appropriate, I might add). Your problem is not that it’s “revealing,” but that it’s gender non-conforming.“
Was OP correct to raise his concern about Luke’s crazy clothing? Was it inappropriate for OP to make Luke uncomfortable with his choices, or was the OP right in raising concerns? How would you have reacted in this situation?
This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.