Skip to Content

She Snaps As Co-Worker’s Refuses To Reveal Husband’s Salary. Says “I Thought The One With Money Would Be A Stuck Up, Not One Without”. Thinks She Was Witty and Right.

It is understandable to become frustrated when someone crosses your boundaries with personal questions. However, is it appropriate to respond in a similarly outrageous manner?

An internet user asked, “Am I a jerk for calling my coworker a ‘nosy women’ after she kept insisting to know my husband’s salary?” Here’s the full story for your context.

Backstory

Confused young woman shrugging shoulders, don't know what to say, isolated on white background. Body language. Studio shot

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

The Original Poster (OP) and her husband, both 33, have been together since college. Over the years, he’s had quite the career trajectory. He’s a quant PM and makes like 10X of what OP makes (and she makes a good salary haha!).

What Does OP Say

Young caucasian woman isolated on white background whining and crying disconsolately.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“As we’ve grown wealthier, I’ve learned that people become nosier. Friends, acquaintances, relatives, you name it. In the beginning, I would entertain the nosy questions, but since I turned 30, I’ve adopted a ‘take no nonsense’ attitude.

When people ask me how much he makes, I no longer say anything. I’ve learned the hard way that giving an exact number can have bad consequences.”, says OP.

A Bit About OP’s New Coworker

two Caucasian women arguing and distrusting each other

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

OP’s co-worker, 25, is new and she already has quite the reputation. Very chatty, catty, gossipy, you get the gist. One can just tell she craves wealth and status.

She wears a bunch of flashy designer items and is always asking the ladies around the office which of the men are single.

What Happened Last Friday?

Young couple sitting on the sofa discussing at home.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Last Friday, their office hosted an afternoon happy hour. She approached OP and asked how she and her husband’s recent vacation to Europe went. OP told her it went well and briefly summarized what they did.

The Conversation Ahead

bullying, friendship and people concept - two teenagers having a fight

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Then, the conversation went something like this:

Her: “So what does your husband do?”

OP: “He works in finance.”

Her: “Oh wow, he must make a ton of money to be taking you on all these lavish vacations! I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how much does he make in a year?”

OP: “Yes, we’re very lucky that he makes a good salary.” *Polite smile*

Her: “Oh come on, I won’t tell anyone. How much does he make in a year? Millions??”

OP: *Awkward chuckle* “I’d rather not say, but it’s up there!”

Her: “What, he doesn’t allow you to give an exact number or something??”

OP: *Visibly annoyed* “No, I just prefer not to say.”

Her: *Laughs in my face* “You’d think the stuck-up one would be the one with money, not the one without!”

OP: “You should learn how to take ‘no’ for an answer and when to quit being a nosy woman. It’s a valuable lesson.”

What Did OP Do Next?

sisters fighting

Image Credit; Deposit Photos

Then OP smiled at her and walked away. Later on, OP had a few coworkers reach out to her and say that the new girl was crying and left early. They said OP should apologize for calling her a rude name.

OP Refused

Photo of shocked crazy girl can't believe her eyes and ears hear bad words about herself isolated on yellow color background.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“I refused. I told my mom and she said I was too rude to the new girl and that she’s young and might not fully understand ‘salary talk’.

I think she’s old enough. My husband is fully on my side but said maybe I should fake-apologize for the sake of office politics, which I somewhat agree with. But still, am I a jerk?”, asks OP.

You Ain’t The Jerk Here

Close-up portrait of her she nice attractive lovely pretty worried terrified, scared brown-haired girl biting finger phobia isolated on bright vivid shine vibrant blue color background.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. Though I agree that she is young, and it was harsh but I also agree that for the sake of office politics, you should say something like ‘I apologize for calling you a rude name, but I do hope it was a valuable lesson for you and next time you are able to recognize other people’s boundaries when they draw them’.”

You Could’ve Handled This Better

unsatisfied woman shows thumbs down and looking at camera. portrait of emotional cute, beautiful woman with makeup and long hair in pink dress, studio shot isolated on light brown or beige background

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk but I have always found ‘Why do you ask?’ is more effective than vague answers to unacceptably personal questions.

If that fails to end it, still don’t give any answers. ‘That’s not something I discuss outside my family & my tax guy’.”

Everyone’s In The Wrong

Photo of young unhappy disappointed woman shrug shoulders wtf problem fail isolated on purple color background.

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Everyone’s in the wrong. I don’t think I need to go into why she’s a jerk.

You should be able to walk away from someone at a work event without calling them rude names. There are certain situations that might warrant it, but she didn’t assault you or steal something or otherwise act beyond the pale where you can justify losing control.

Just… walk away. Don’t put your coworkers in a position where they have to debate justifying you/anyone calling someone names. The workplace isn’t somewhere to put someone in their place, it’s where you de-escalate and then bring it up to the appropriate people.”

That’s Not How You Talk To Your Colleagues

wtf woman

Image Credits: Cookie Studio, Shutterstock

“Everyone’s in the wrong. Yes, she was being rude and unprofessional. Your response was also rude and unprofessional.

The first time being polite fails, be direct. If being direct fails, say ‘It was nice to meet you’ or ‘Have a good day’ and walk away.

If we all swore at everyone at our jobs who deserved it, nothing would ever get done.”

Not Your Fault, Honey

looking angry, annoyed and frustrated

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

“Not the jerk. You gave her plenty of chances to shut up and take what you gave her but she chose to try to walk all over you.

Not your fault, honey.”

More From Mrs Daaku Studio

Bright,Living,Room,With,Beige,And,Olive,Sofa,,Love,Seat,

Image Credits: Artazum, Shutterstock

Thrift stores and goodwill stores are great, but there are many weird instances of people finding things. Read – Goodwill Workers Share 16 “Weirdest” Things They’ve Ever Found, It’s Hilarious!

She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says It’s Inappropriate. Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?

Two sisters teenager fighting at home angry pulling long hair

Image Credits: Deposit Photos

Sisters can be difficult sometimes, and here is one case for you to judge. Read – She Demands Her Sister Stop Wearing Silk Nightgowns. Says, “It’s Inappropriate.” Should She Just Stop Wearing Them?

Father Corrects Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of Questioning Authority

Image Credits: Deposit Photos.

Schools can act arbitrarily sometimes, and here is a case. Read how this Father Corrects the Teacher’s Pronunciation of Daughter’s Name, School Accuses Him of ‘Questioning Authority’. Does This Make Sense?

He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and 401K, Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right

Portrait of an annoyed woman

Image Credit; Deposit Photos

He Inherited His Brother’s Insurance and; 401K. Refused To Share It With Brother’s Widow and Kids. Thinks He Is Right.Read more.

Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It, Is This Financial Abuse?

angry hatred

Image Credits: Roman Samborskyi, Shutterstock

Woman Cancels Credit Card After Boyfriend REFUSES to Return It. Is This Financial Abuse? We think it is, but we need to hear from you. Read here.This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.