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19 Absurd Laws People Want To Enforce If They Were A Dictator

We all wish the world could have everything we like and enjoy, but that’s not how it works. We’re told what to do by authorities and our parents at home. What if we had our island where we could make all the rules? Doesn’t that sound exciting?

A user asked the forum, “You’re now the dictator of your small island nation. What’s the most ridiculous law you would enact?”

Here are the top responses he got.

SLEEP WHENEVER YOU WANT 

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“I’m allowed to sleep whenever I want. Everyone can sleep whenever they want as long as their jobs get done. Jobs that don’t allow for sleep due to requiring synchronicity automatically owe 1.25x pay as an inconvenience fee and to discourage employers from abusing the synchronicity requirement.”

NO FINES

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“There are no fines, only community service. Do you want to speed up? Have fun spending 2 hours filling in potholes for every mile per hour over the limit you were going. Do you want to litter? One hundred hours of cleaning up public spaces.”

FRIDAY ISN’T A WEEKDAY

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“Friday isn’t a weekday. We do 4/3 in my nation.”

OPTION TO SPEED UP THE ELEVATOR 

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“Elevators come faster when you push the button more times.”

CUSTOMER SERVICE LABELING RUDE PEOPLE 

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“Customer service employees are allowed to label someone as a rude idiot. If labeled, you must wear the “Rude Idiot’s'” outfit for a week.”

ONLY TACOS ON TUESDAY 

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“Tuesday is Taco Tuesday. You’re only allowed to sell and eat Tacos all day. That includes sweet dishes. Do you want to have an ice cream sundae on Tuesday? It better looks like a Taco.”

GET A LICENSE TO HAVE KIDS

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“You need to take a class and get a license to have kids.”

OBSERVING NEW JOBS EVERY MONTH 

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“Once a month, you must shadow someone in their role for an entire day and do the duties with them. You must observe a new job each time.”

DON’T HARM A FROG

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“If you purposefully harm a frog, you go to jail; not respecting frogs will give you a fine.”

LITTERING 

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“If you litter, we feed you to sharks.”

PAID LEAVE ON BIRTHDAYS 

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“Everyone gets a paid leave for their birthday, either on the day or a day in lieu.”

NO CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS OTHER THAN IN DECEMBER 

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“No Christmas carols or decorations before 1st December or after 30th December. No use of the word Christmas in advertising outside of December either.”

DRIVING TESTS 

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“Driving tests once a year. The driver gets slapped immediately for any mistake.”

CONCERT EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT

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“Every Saturday night is a rock concert night. With state-funded beer supply.”

DAWDLING IN THE FAST LANE IS PUNISHABLE 

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“All pavements (sidewalks) shall have fast and slow lanes. Dawdling in the fast lane is punishable by a fine. Stopping suddenly in the fast lane, at the top of escalators, or at the entrance to an aisle in the shops is punishable by death.”

HONEST ANSWER IS MANDATORY

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“Everyone is required to honestly answer ‘How are you?’, and every similar question, for example, how was your day?”

WEALTH 

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“You must carry all your wealth on a rope around your neck. The more you have, the more it weighs you down. Ideally, this way, people are constantly trying to give their wealth away to each other.”

PEANUT BUTTER MUST BE CHUNKY 

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“All peanut butter must be chunky. This is to create a black market for creamy peanut butter. Perhaps even a creamy resistance that’s looking to overthrow my heinous dictatorship. Some people are passionate about this, and I want to exploit that.”

OWN A GARDEN 

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“Everyone must own and keep a garden of some kind. It doesn’t have to be a vegetable garden or an orchard, but this is non-negotiable if there is no garden and no option to vote or participate in any community activity. Yes, the government will help you pay for the garden.”

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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.