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16 Things That Men Go Through That Women May Be Quick To Ignore

One of the hardest parts of growing up as a boy is dealing with the changes that come with puberty. Boys experience a lot of physical changes during this time, which can be confusing and uncomfortable. They may also start to feel pressure to conform to masculine norms, which can be stressful.

An internet user asked, What do you feel is the hardest part about growing up as a boy? Here are the top sixteen responses:

Pressure

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“There’s a list of things you are supposed to be good at, things you’re supposed to enjoy, you’re supposed to be emotionally stable and enough so you can shoulder someone else’s emotional pain and help them through theirs.

You’re supposed to know how to be a good father, be a good husband, and be a success in work and life in general.”

To Be Extra Careful In Your Interactions 

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“Don’t know if this is widespread, but I have experienced this a lot. You have to be extra careful in your interactions (especially with women) because anything that can be slightly interpreted as being a creep or a jerk can be used against you. I am an introvert with anxiety, and sometimes I mess up interactions by panicking. Just to make sure I don’t come off as a creep in any way, I need to research the situation and the appropriate responses and practice my response a couple of times before I go for the interaction. Basically, I have very little margin of error and no benefit of the doubt that this person is just nervous and panicking.”

Learning How To Voice Your Emotions

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“Learning how to voice your emotions when you’re already an adult.” Said one. 

“This is huge, and it’s so difficult. I can barely recognize my emotions, much less express them healthily.” Another added. 

Being Expected To Deal With Bullies By Getting Tough

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“Being expected to deal with bullies by getting tough on my own and not receiving any help from adults supposedly in charge.” Said one.

“This. I was bullied my whole childhood in school until I went to the gym every day and became a “not so easy” target in high school.   It led to me incorporating physical fitness into my life which pulled me through a lot of other things later on as well.” Another added.

No Role Models Or Just Bad Role Models

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“Trying to figure out how to become a man, when you have no male role models around.” Said one. 

“Or trying to figure out how to become a GOOD man when you’ve only had bad role models.” Another added.

Being Told Boys Don’t Cry And The Likes Of It

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“Everyone expects you to be tough. Being told boys don’t cry, and when you do cry it, ohh that’s nothing I’ll give you something to cry about.

Then as an adult, you have no feelings, no emotions, and you’re a closed book who doesn’t know how to express yourself because you’ve had to suppress your feelings for the first 18 years of your life.”

The Gender Discrimination – The Other Way Round

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“I think in a broad, generalized way what I struggled with most was this:

I learned from one incident after another that once you pass out of childhood almost everyone treats boys and girls very differently. (this may not be everyone’s experience) but I witnessed endlessly that when a girl fails, is bullied, needs help, needs guidance, people’s response is essentially “Aww you poor thing let me help you” and for boys, the response is “What’s wrong with you, just move on”.”

Worrying About Being A Good Provider To Family

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“Worrying about if you’ll be a good provider for your family. My parents started telling me I’d never be a good provider when I was 11. 

Being shamed for having emotions. Be Boys Don’t Cry and all that. Feeling like you’re doing something wrong because you like a girl.  In general, feeling as if you should apologize for crappy man behavior that you have nothing to do with.”

Understanding That Boys Are Automatically Perceived As Threats Once They’re Eighteen

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“Coming to terms with the fact that by the time you’re 18 most women, even if subconsciously see you as a threat and how to navigate making them feel safer around you.”

Being Expected To Figure Everything Out

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“I feel like we aren’t taught things as we age. We are just expected to figure things out because we are boys. As if we will magically know how to do everything.”

Being Rarely Considered Innocent

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“We rarely ever get this cute age of innocence where we’re seen as just harmless children. Maybe it’s because I’m Black but it’s like the second we’re able to walk and talk, society flips a switch and decides that we’re capable and willing to do just any crime or despicable act.”

Being Force-Fed Psychotropic Drugs

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“Being force-fed psychotropic drugs because your little ape body wasn’t designed to sit still and concentrate for 6 hours.”

Trying To Figure Out What It Means To Be A Man

Sad,Man,Lamenting,Sitting,On,The,Floor,In,The,Living

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“Trying to figure out what it means to be a man while only having crappy human beings give you the worst advice/takes imaginable, and fumbling your way through. At the same time defending yourself against a piece of crap human being when you don’t conform to their ideology of “manhood”.”

Hitting Puberty Considerably Late

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“Maybe this is shallow compared to other responses, but I was a very late bloomer while my older brother (18-month age difference) was a full-grown man at age 13. Really affected my confidence in locker rooms, just wearing shorts and seeing other kids had hair on their legs. I didn’t hit puberty until I was 15. Mentally scarring going through the beginning of high school looking like a child.”

No Hormone Excuses

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“When girls act erratic it’s their hormones but as a boy, you’re just a bad kid with behavior issues…”

Not Internalizing The “Men Are Bad” Idea

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“Not internalizing the “men are bad” idea that gets pushed so heavily. It got into me many years ago and I’m STILL trying to break away from that internalized hatred.”

No “My Body, My Choice” Validation 

I,Don't,Want,To,Hear,You.,Portrait,Of,Confused,Handsome

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“Far too many of us didn’t get a “my body, my choice” during our first few days of life and had irreversible procedures done on us.”

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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.